Generation vs. Affluence vs. My Own Ignorance?

Yesterday was a really great day that turned really bad.

I have many paper conferences scheduled with my sophomores, as their 2nd research paper is due this Friday. Yesterday I met with 2 young men who needed some help with the structure and analysis of their papers. Both of them told me how much I helped them, and how much I have taught them about how to write a history research paper. *beam*

And then I heard about 3 instances that pretty much made me lose all faith in teenagers:

• One girl asked to move a quiz because she got back from a tennis tournament at 10p. I found out later that she actually got back at 6p. Do I seriously need a note to corroborate a story every time some kid gives me an excuse?
• One boy has apparently been hanging around another class while he "goes to the bathroom/locker" during my class. I am SURE he is not the only one. I have gone out on a LIMB for this kid SO MANY TIMES. What the heck.
• 2 freshmen girls apparently complain daily about how stupid they think I am and about how they could "teach themselves" better than I am teaching them. One currently has an 85% and the other, a 75%. Apparently being "only 8 years older" than them is more indicative of my knowledge and ability than my 2 college degrees.

I am unsure about where this comes from. Why do kids think that this type of behavior is acceptable? Where in the world are they learning this disrespect?

Is it a generational thing? Is this just how kids "are" today? Is the generational gap SO HUGE between them and me? I don't remember kids being this cruel and disrespectful to adults, but maybe I was just extremely naive and didn't realize that kids actually were this way when I was in high school. Maybe I was brought up to respect adults and didn't ever even consider putting one toe out of line. Maybe kids today are just brought up with a sense of entitlement that comes from... who knows where??

Does it have to do with affluence? Kids walk around this school all the time bragging and boasting about how they got a new Mercedes for their 16th birthday, or how their house was featured on some MTV teen "cribs" show, or how their grandparents just got some memorial named after them due to a huge donation. This is exactly the reason I was concerned about coming to this school in particular. These kids have no concept of reality and are severely lacking some moral values. Life is not about money... at least not for me. I get so frustrated being around people who DO value money over other things, like kindness, respect, empathy... they are not the type of people I want to surround myself with. And yet here I am. Are these kids' affluent lives causing them to lash out in a wave of disrespect?

Or am I just ignorant to the fact that I may not be demanding respect? How do I do this? I always thought that when you give respect, you get respect. What else can I do for these kids? I respect them by believing what they tell me is true, and they take advantage of me. I respect them by carefully preparing and planning lessons to engage and educate them, and they insult my intelligence. Do I need to be a hard-nosed "mean" teacher for kids to have respect for me? What does it take?!

People keep telling me that "this is just how it is here for your first year... or two." I don't accept that excuse. Kids are being a-holes and someone needs to call them out. Apparently their parents aren't doing it. I AM SICK OF IT.

Not a good day for me. :( My confidence and morale is shot. I am ready for the year to be over.

Uh oh.

I think I am starting to become jaded.

I actually called in sick today. I am not sick.

I have had a crappy 1.5 weeks, and I think it's just me taking things personally and being a pissy brat. I'm letting little things bother me and seeing only negative things that my kids say and do. What is going on? Is it just because it's spring and almost the end of the year? Or is it more than that? Am I cut out for this? Blah.

I need some inspiration.

To Grade or Not to Grade

Grading is the only part of teaching that I do not enjoy. I always leave things until the night before I want to hand them back, and then stare at the pile with very little motivation.

I told my sophomores that they would get their tests back tomorrow. As I am looking at my pile of 30+ tests (including short answer + essay!) and glancing at the clock, I wonder... what is more important? Keeping my promise and being semi-prompt with my grading? Or going to bed and getting some sleep, despite the fact that they took this test a week ago and still havent gotten their grades back?

Why do I feel guilt about this? Yes, teaching is my job. But it is not my LIFE. I am a much happier person if I get to bed before 11p... a deadline that is rapidly approaching. As educators, where do we draw the line? When is it ok to say "NO, I am not doing that right now", or should I always be striving to complete as much work as possible even when I am not at school?

I didn't start grading these tests until today due to the crap-ton of other work I have to do, however I feel obligated to finish tonight. I always think to myself that there was more I could have done over the weekend or during the day or at night.

How do I know if I'm doing enough or if I need to push myself more? Should I put a quota on time I allot for work? How do I know when I can say, "No, you're not getting your tests back today" and not feel bad about it?